Writing Protips!

Welcome to Wednesday. We here at Windermuse are sure you're using your time today prepping possible essay subjects and completing your daily writing exercises in spandex. Well done. To aid you, here are a few paragraphs detailing common mistakes and reasons to avoid them in your Windermuse contest entry. Be sure to check out our FREE writing workshops (post below) as well as our stunning submission guidelines (post above).

Paragraph #1:

"I think this race is going to be a PB for me. I can feel it; that is if I don't bonk out first. I've built up my lactate threshold over a series of months of training, and I feel strong in the May sunshine. Just another run. When I get to mile 9 and that hill I'll probably regret my decision to avoid the port-o-potties provided by the race at the starting line, but I'm not afraid to just go while I'm running if I have to. I've done it before.

"I think it's about time to pop an energy gel; wouldn't do to lose my edge. Too bad Pheidippes didn't have some of this. I like the Apple Cinnamon flavor best."

These paragraphs are full of unexplained jargon that will confuse or frustrate a non-runner. They are also completely couched in the present tense, which works well for scenes of action but doesn't allow for any insight, reflection or analysis, the qualities that will make the winning essay so beautiful.

Paragraph #2:

"Mile 1: 'I'm nervous...always nervous before a race...I tweaked my left ACL a few weeks ago training for the marathon. It sucked. I love running b/c it's a great way to keep in shape...marathons are just a goal, like how some people go skydiving, or rock climbing. I tried to establish my pace--too fast, and I'd burn out too soon--too slow and my time would suck.'

"Mile 2: 'Feeling great. My left ACL feeling pretty good. There are too many people in the way. I should have been positioned closer to the front...the hot asphalt glimmers like onyx...I find my rhythm. I'm already thirsty, but I need to wait a few miles before I dare drink anything. Lots of people turned out today for the race...I hope my times good.'"

This is a glorified race report. This isn't an essay because it is trapped in the moment, devoid of reflection. It is poorly organized and the mechanics are sloppy.

So now you know what not to do. And knowing is half the battle.